The Purpose-Driven Life

Who am I? Why am I here? Where am I going? How do I get there from here? I believe these are four questions that every man (and woman) is looking for answers to (or at least wonders about)? Even my 9-year old son (soon to be 10) is curious about “his purpose” in life. Even though he doesn’t understand the intricacies of life, even he wonders what he was put on this Earth to do.

I’m just thankful that God has blessed me with the opportunity to be the one to help him “find his way.” As a speaker and educator, I’m constantly asked by students to give them answers to some of life’s most challenging questions – like the ones I mentioned above. Unfortunately, they’re disappointed when I tell them I can’t do it. I tell them in actuality, no one can. As humans, we can only assist people in finding their purpose, we can’t give them one or tell them what it is, and here’s why.
If you want to know the purpose of a thing, you can’t ask the thing (or something similar); you have to ask the maker of the thing (i.e., the manufacturer). The manufacturer predetermined what the product would do and accomplish BEFORE he or she built it. See, the problem is, most of us go to “other products” to find out what the purpose of our product is. It’s kind of silly when you think about it. If cars could speak, why would a car ask another car, what’s its purpose? The car, the driver, and even the mechanic can only tell the car what they think its purpose is based on their own experience with other cars. But who do you think knows more about that particular make and model car than ANYONE else? That’s right, the manufacturer – the one who drafted the plans, crafted the idea, and envisioned its use.
So, when a student asks me, “What is my purpose?” I always re-direct them to the manufacturer (whoever they believe that is for them). Personally, I believe God is my manufacturer; He’s my creator, my designer, my author, my architect, and my sculptor. Everything I am (all of my features and faults) he created. I entered this world through my mother’s womb (with the help of my father), but I believe I was conceived in the mind of God BEFORE my mother and dad even “hooked up.”
Although I don’t believe we can define anyone’s purpose for them, I do believe we can help each other find it, by getting each other to ask better questions of our manufacturer and us allowing our manufacturer to reveal it to us in our heart. If this sounds a little to deep for comfort, allow me to make it very simple.
I believe there are three general steps in finding, accepting, and living your true purpose in life. In order to understand this process, I will use a simple metaphor – a gift. You are a gift. Your life is a gift. Your gift is made up of your unique, talents, skills, gifts, and abilities – what I like to call your spiritual DNA (your desires, nature, and abilities). If you can grasp this concept – of YOU being a gift, the rest of the explanation will be easy to understand. So take a moment to make sure you understand this concept.
Okay, with that in mind, here’s the process of finding, accepting, and living your purpose:
1. Identify WHAT your gift is (i.e., your unique talents, skills, gifts, and abilities) – If you don’t already know this, visit www.RWuniversity.com and click on the “Find Your Purpose” exercise to assist you.
2. Determine WHO you would like to share “your gift” with the most (i.e., in your heart of hearts, who do you think could benefit most from your gift?). Identify at least three groups (ex. For me, it’s students, teachers, and parents).
3. Choose HOW you’d like to give your gift away. Meaning, there are several ways to share your gift with others; for me it’s teaching, speaking, writing, creating, and researching, among other things. This is when you put your “gift” into action; it’s how you’re going to earn a living doing what you love. The great thing is that you don’t have to pick just one way. Pick the way (or ways) that excites you the most. This is where passion comes from, when you give your gift away.
Guess what? That’s it! The purpose of life is simply to know what your gift is, and to use it in a way that benefits others while bringing joy to your manufacturer (all at the same time). The way I personally describe it is simply this: to use my God-given gifts (to communicate, motivate, and educate) to achieve God-given goals (to serve and support others). I would encourage you to adopt your own mission statement for your life, and it let it be your compass. Because one of the worst things you could ever do in life is to NOT know what you want, but spend all of your life trying to get it. Think about it.

Life Should Be Spent, Not Saved

When asked "What's the biggest fear in a man's life?" Many men will respond with answers ranging from death to being in debt (and being unable to avoid both). Well personally, I found that men have a hidden fear that most will never share with others. In fact, it's not just a fear that men have, but humans in general. However, as men, we tend to talk about it less than women do. So, what's that fear? It's the fear of living a wasted life.

Yes, I know, the fear of dying is strong. However, the fear of living a life that didn't matter is downright scary. Think about it; as a little boy, you probably dreamed of being a super hero or superstar athlete. Why, because their lives seemed to matter, and people revered and cheered them. In a little boy's heart, he longs to be someone who men would look up to and women would desire. And if we were totally honest with ourselves, we still feel that way from time to time.

But I can't imagine anything worse than having reached the end of one's life, and to discover that no one other than our family members and closest friends would miss us. But a deeper question still needs to be asked and addressed, "Other than to my family and friends, did my life really matter?" From being a "motivational" speaker and professor, I must admit, most men I've met with (privately) have answered this unavoidable question with a regrettable "no." And at one point in my life, I was one of them.

When I'm asked, why would most men feel their life had no significance? My response has always been the same, because we spend more time trying to "save" our life from "things" instead of "spending" our life on "things that matter." What "things" am I referring to? You know what I'm talking about. We "spend" most of our lives trying to save ourselves from financial debt, being hurt, being disrespected, losing our pride, appearing too sensitive, being hurt, being scared, being unemployed, being embarrassed, struggling, you name it.

Well, the truth of the matter is, life was never meant to be saved, it was meant to be spent..preferably on something that is bigger than ourselves (that will out last us). Too many times, we sacrifice the people we love for the safety of our soul. But in reality, no one makes it out of this world alive. So I think a better investment would be in those "things" that will out-live and out-last us. No, I'm not saying to ignore your own needs and desires, but I am asking you to step outside of yourself for just a minute to look at the bigger picture. How you live your life now, and what you "spend" your life on will be your message to the world when you're gone. And I don't know about you, but when I leave this earth, I hope that people say that I made this world a better place because I was in it, not because I left it.

So on your mark, get set, get ready...start spending your life on "things that matter."