Head Man in Charge

A few years ago, I decided to start a tradition of allowing my son to share in my “Quiet Time with God” moments; whereas we would sit in my closet, pick a chapter in the Bible and discuss it openly and honestly. Although I was a little reluctant (and maybe selfish) to do it at first, I thought it would be a great opportunity to spend some quality time with him and also help him grow and develop spiritually. Little did I know that his participation would also contribute to my spiritual growth and development as well. It’s funny how God finds so many creative ways to humble us.

Well this morning was one of those times. We decided to read out of Deuteronomy 10, when our discussion took an interesting turn into a totally different direction.

We started reading about Moses and his abuse of the power God had given him. Moses became angry at the Israelites for building a false idol to worship; something God had forbidden. Because of his anger, Moses disobeyed God in his response to the Israelites and was forbidden from entering the Promise Land.

Our (my son and I) discussion immediately, and strangely enough, shifted into a discussion about husbands and wives; please don’t ask me why – I have no idea. Who can know the mind of 13 year old?

Specifically, we got into a discussion about the legal authority God had given man as the spiritual head of the woman – and the abuse of that authority.

My son asked, “Dad, why do men abuse their authority?” Quite a heavy question to drop on a person (at least so early in the morning). Well, as usual, I said a quick prayer hoping God would give me wisdom to answer my son without my ego getting involved. And as usual, God did not disappoint. He revealed to me, that as men, when we hear and think of the word “authority,” we tend to think and equate it to the word “power.”

However, in actuality, when we hear the word “authority,” we should immediately hear and focus our attention on a different word… and that word is “responsibility.”

To help my son gain a better understanding of what I meant and where I was going with this, I had Kendall shift his focus from husband and wife to parent and child. This shift gave both us great clarity. Allow me to explain.

As Kendall’s God-appointed and God-anointed father, I have the legal “authority” over him. Meaning, if I choose, I could demand (and even force and coerce him) to do things against his will and his conscience. In fact, when I told Kendall some of the things I could require him to do or make him do, but choose NOT to, he was amazed (and quite relieved I might add). And out of obligation or fear, he would more than likely feel compelled to do it.

But I told him, however, from God’s perspective, the authority He gave me over him (as a child) actually meant I was responsible FOR him and accountable TO God for his spiritual growth and development.

So likewise, husbands have a God-appointed “responsibility” to their wives. And if a man fully accepts and fulfills his Godly responsibility to his wife, leads by example; nurtures her Spirit; helps her mature in her walk with Christ; and shows her unconditional love; she will more than likely, lovingly and willingly submit and serve under her husband’s “authority” – no different than a child serves and submits to a loving parent. This is no longer done out of obligation or compulsion, but rather out of Godly obedience and respect.

After sharing this insight with my son, I immediately had to repent (openly) for some of the mistakes I’d made during my marriage to his mother. I thanked God for the revelation and wisdom he had just given me concerning “authority,” and I asked him to forgive me for all of those times I used my God-given authority to exercise power instead of accept responsibility. I also asked him to plant and engraft this lesson in my heart and grant me the strength to walk out this truth in my Spirit; and my desire would be to have him do the same for you as well. Be strong my brother, and know you’re in my prayers.

Until next time, stay in His grip!