25 July 2011

Speak It Until You Believe It





         I’m a proud father of a high schooler (pray for me).  My son is 15 years, and he has proven to me that being a professor is a lot easier than being a parent.  But isn’t it weird how eerily similar the two jobs are?

        One of the great advantages of being a teacher before you become a parent is you gain wisdom by watching the development of your students.  I’ve been fortunate to work with students of all ages from elementary to college, so even before my son was born I could see what to expect.

        After convincing myself (or rather allowing God to do it) of having children in spite of what I saw at school, I realized that teaching was actually preparing me for parenthood.

        So when my son was about 5 years old, I knew the inevitable would eventually arrive; I’m talking about the frightening MIDDLE SCHOOL YEARS.  Yeah, I know high school isn’t a walk in the park either, but I believe middle school is the transition period that will determine the emotional and social success or failure of a student in high school.

        In addition to all of the physical changes that occur in middle school, the desire for acceptance and independence tend to challenge and tax every parenting skill one has.

        Knowing this, I had to come up with a way that I could teach my son (while he was still listening to me) to not forget everything he learned prior to entering the pre-teen and teenage years.  I was trying to help him avoid what I call, “middle school” amnesia.  So intentionally I decided to “brainwash” my son.  Yeah, I know that sounds bad, but let me explain.

        When he was 5 years old, I started teaching him something called the “Martin Mantras.”  Catchy sayings he could recall and recite whenever he needed them the most; sort of like a “use these in case of an emergency” whenever he found himself in an eventual middle school social, academic, mental, or emotional crisis.

        He didn’t understand why I was doing it at the time, but all I can tell you today is that the Martin Mantras have paid HUGE dividends.  They work great because it saves me from having to “lecture” him on what he already knows is right.  The mantras instead, allow me to “lead” him to exercise his independence and accept responsibility for his actions.

        With my son’s permission, I’ve decided to share the “Martin Mantras” with you.  Please share them with anyone who needs to be reminded how great they are and how powerful God is.  Feel free to create your own and share them so we can add them to our family’s list.  Here they are:
  1. If I do my best, God will handle the rest.
  2. If I believe I can do it, God will see to it.
  3. Even if I fall, God controls it all.
  4. If I lie, God will always deny.
  5. No matter what people say, God loves me anyway.
  6. I know I have favor, because Jesus is my Savior.
  7. Whenever God tells me how, I must obey now.

        I will leave it up to you to know WHEN you should use them.  But I use them on my son usually right before a test, after a test, after being mistreated by others, teased by others, during times of doubt, feelings of insecurity, and fear (just to name a few). 

        I can’t begin to tell you how powerful the right word spoken at the right time can be or how destructive the wrong word spoken at the wrong time can be.

        Over the past 10 years, I’m convinced now (more than ever) that my son actually believes these mantras.  I’ve actually heard him share some of the mantras with his friends as well as some of our family members. 

        
I truly believe if you speak something long enough, whether positive or negative, eventually you’ll believe it.  So start creating the world you would like to see (for your children, siblings, mate, or friens) by speaking what you want them to believe about themselves and others.  Take my word for it, you’ll change their life.  Stay in His grip!